stale popcorn

So I saw an advanced screening of SALT last night and let me just say, I’m having a hard time figuring out how stale this stale popcorn really was for me.  On the one hand, Angelina Jolie freaking rocks.  Word on the Sony Backlot?  Girl did all her own stunts.  AMAZING.  Seriously, if you want to be entertained and not have to think about anything, this is the summer blockbuster for you.

So why, you ask, does it make the cut for Stale Popcorn?  Those who know me know that I am not the biggest action film fan.  I can appreciate a well crafted action sequence with the best of them (if you see this one, look out for the “handcuff” balcony scene – you can’t miss it) but I’m a story girl to the end (perhaps it’s the writer in me?).  I need something more than a plot that resembles a double agent ping pong tournament (she’s good, she’s evil, she’s good, she’s evil).  I mean, come on!  She’s the main character I should at least know if she’s good or evil, right?  (P.S. for those of you who didn’t know, this movie was originally written for a male lead, slated to be played by Tom Cruise, until he opted for a little box office gem called Knight and Day…)!

For the majority of the film, I was suffering a minor anxiety attack trying to figure out if I should be cheering her on or crossing my fingers that Guantanamo was somehow in her future.  I won’t completely give up the ending for those of you who want to screen this one for yourselves, but suffice to say it left a pretty salty taste in my mouth.

Not to mention, I was completely distracted – James Newton Howard – by the original score which sounded like a choir menacingly chanting the word SALT over and over again.  SALT, SALT, SALT, SALT.  Just imagine the dark chanting.  SALT, SALT, SALT, SALT.  Creeeeeeepy.  But that might just be me.

And finally for the end – that pivotal point that can make or break a movie.  I would normally preface this with “I don’t want to give away the ending” but alas, dear friends, there really wasn’t one.  Seriously.  They probably should have slapped a “To Be Continued…” on the screen.  At least then they would have been openly admitting that they are crossing their fingers for gold and a multitude of sequels.  SALT, SALT, SALT, SALT.

So if you’re interested in some exciting action sequences, which I’m anticipating most people will be this summer, then head on over to your local cineplex because kick ass Angelina will totally be worth your buck.  I’m thinking from the reaction of most of my friends, who also previewed the movie; the box office for this flick will totally satisfy all the peeps at Sony.

I wasn’t the biggest fan, but I guess it’s not worth crying over split salt.

SALT, SALT, SALT, SALT.